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“If you choose to (continue that behavior), you choose to (receive whatever consequence has already been established as a punishment)”.

You might say, “Erin, if you choose to poke your sister again, you choose to not watch TV for the rest of the day”.

Either way, the child is allowed to express their thoughts or concerns and feel validated without an argument. First, it creates anxiety and fear in the child, especially of the person who you are going to tell about whatever happened.

Second, it ignores your responsibility to deal with the issue at hand and passes it to someone else.

If a child is coloring the grass purple, it is easy to tell them it must be green.

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