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He moved out for a few months, we co-parented our boys (now ages 4 and 6), we drafted a legal separation agreement. Given reality, given our children and our family and our professional dreams and so on, my life, as it is today, is better/easier/more supported with him than without him. And I don’t know what more to expect, or how to think about all of this.

We were able to experience, and imagine, what divorce and a two-home family would be like. Everyone would be okay no matter what direction we ultimately took. I would have married my ex-boyfriend if I knew then what I know now. Well, my “the One” certainly wouldn’t have spent 4 years screwing hookers. And, in truth, I see him for who he is TODAY and I don’t want to lose that man. I think I am at a place where I do believe a marriage can survive. I do believe there is life, together, beyond D-day and that the two people can even grow stronger, more real, than before. That you accept a life of peace and contentment, but not happiness.

The trial at the Old Bailey heard how Rahman, Adeel Ulhaq, 21 and Kristen Brekke, 19, helped Muthana travel from his home in Cardiff to Syria by giving him money for the journey and helping him get a replacement passport.

Aseel Muthana and fellow extremist Forhad Rahman swapped messages which suggested the pair were in a gay relationship.

He was also featured one of the terrorists most gruesome execution videos standing alongside 'Jihadi John' Mohammed Emwazi and several other jihadis killing 16 Syrian soldiers and an American aid worker.