Alyssa*, 25, a woman of Japanese and white heritage, used OKCupid before she got into a long-term relationship." To avoid dealing with that, some mixed race people put their "mix" right in their profiles, in hopes of fending off those questions.While on the website, she put her racial background on her profile.


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Tell your story with rich details, such as how you reined in costs by a certain percentage, boosted sales by 25 percent or delivered a job two months ahead of schedule.

If you can't find someone, print the document out, then wait for an hour or more before you review it so that you have fresh eyes.

"I never really chose people based on race, but white guys were the only ones I got weird racist stuff from, so I was often skeptical of them," Alyssa said."I definitely see the ' No Asians' or ' No Latinos,' but also ' Into smooth Asians' or into 'sexy Latino men,'" he told Many users speak of their ambiguous ethnicity being used as a pick up line, either through direct questioning or comments like, "You look so exotic." "I don't typically get messages that come off as flirtatious or fetishizing me right off the bat, but some people will message me being like ' What's your mix?

It's a question many mixed race people are familiar with, a subtle code for "Why don't you look the way I think you should?

Don't wait passively at home for the phone to ring.