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Most parents will never forget the details of the day their children were born.

For those who divorce, there's another day—equally vivid, totally different—that etches into memory: when they have to tell their children their mother and father are splitting up.

As it is, 27.7 percent of custodial mothers live below the poverty line, compared to only 11.1 percent of custodial fathers. More than $30 billion in child-support payments was due to custodial parents last year. Still, that's better than it was for women in the '60s.

Before the 1984 federal Child Support Enforcement Amendments, there was virtually no enforcement of support awards or comprehensive tracking of unpaid support.

"The lawyers are telling them, 'You can't fight this, you won't get it, and it will cost you a lot of money and heartache.'" While the numbers show that men who do fight for primary custody win as much as women do, Holstein says those cases are self-selecting: "They've been told in advance they have a chance at winning because they were Mr.