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I get it and understand that you’re grieving and that you miss them, but this all goes back to validating the original reasons for doing NC and getting behind your decision.
It’s a totally normal part of the breakup to be reminded of your ex by certain things – this dissipates over time as long as you don’t use these memories to inflate meaning or your hurt.
I understand it, believe me, especially if you were together through something difficult like a bereavement, but working through this anniversary without them and possibly with the support of others, is grief work that you need to focus on. I appreciate that you may like their family for instance, but be careful of not only crossing your ex’s boundaries, but also of inadvertently maintaining a connection between you both. Your message, whatever guise it takes, may be disruptive. Yes I’m sure these feel ‘easier’ but again, if you’re that worried about avoiding conflict and not opening yourself up to hurt, stick to NC. Each year has occasions in the calendar – how are you going to deal with these?
Yes they may understand you and you them and yes, you may feel bonded over this difficult situation, but it’s not enough to cancel out the reasons why you’re doing NC. It’s bad enough when they mess with your head, but actually, being NC and then reaching out sends mixed messages. They’re inevitable so there’s no point in being surprised by them.
If you think you can go through a mental checklist in your head and name some of the most iconic couples in the entertainment industry, then we’re here to help you out and lengthen that list.