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To put it plainly, you are programmed to reproduce. Let's say by "smart" we mean "in the top 5 percent of the population in terms of intelligence and education." Generally speaking, smart people seek out other smart people to hang out with, simply because they get bored otherwise.

Now quit thinking you're smarter than the 3 billion base pairs in your genome and 4 billion years of evolution. And if they're going to spend a lot of time with someone, intelligence in a partner is pretty much a requirement. Now, luckily, the world's kinda big, so the remaining 5 percent of the gender of your choice is still a plentiful 160 million or so people.

Well, congratulations -- you've just eliminated 95 percent of the world's population as a potential mate, Mr. Even if only 1 percent of those are single enough, good-looking enough, local enough and just all-around cool enough for you, that's over a million people you can date out there. And if you live in a smaller city, it may be just a handful of folks who are going to meet your stringent criteria.

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So it only makes sense that in the romantic arena, it should work the same way. The more stuff I do, the more accomplishments and awards I have, the more girls (or boys) will like me. Please say I'm right, because I've spent a LOT of time and energy accumulating this mental jewelry, and I'm going to be really bummed if you tell me it's not going to get me laid.

Well, it's not going to get you laid, brother (or sister).

By virtue of being born of the union of male and female, yang and yin, you are a sexual being. Now do what you need to do to perpetuate the race already. Perhaps you should consider thinking a little less then.

Because heaven knows that the amoeba, worm, fish, amphibian, monkey and primitive hominids didn't do a whole lot of thinking.

The writing of the books was precipitated by the endemic dating woes on the Harvard campus as I observed them as an advisor and, earlier, indulged in them as a student.

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