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It’s gone from intense and gradually or very sharply cooled down. Your relationship will not be able to have balance, it can’t progress because they keep undermining it, they’re inconsistent (and if you stay around too long they become consistent at being inconsistent and train you to expect less from them), and as a result of all of these things, you cannot expect intimacy When you won’t give them the time of day or they don’t know if you’re interested or they don’t know if you’re ‘buying’ what they’re ‘selling’ (read: a relationship and a person that’s not actually available), the lack of control makes .
You will know this feeling well if you’re the type of person that only thinks that love is valuable when it comes from a reluctant or defunct source.
I take my time alone very, very seriously, and I don’t like it being encroached on either.
And if you really feel strongly about it, you choose to take a hard line on this stuff — but you’ve got to do that with the understanding that there’s a trade-off you’ll be making in terms of how you’re perceived …
And yes, it might feel annoying that you have to do that, but some relationships work that way, and it’s in your interests to recognize that reality. Are her invitations only occasional, or is she suggesting lunch regularly?