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Authenticity is allowing a little bit of that vulnerability in the way we fill out our profiles and engage with people.
On that note: Do you think it’s better to be a man or a woman on a dating app? It’s great to be a guy looking for hookups on Bumble, because you don’t have to do anything except swipe right on everyone. There’s certainly a group of people who don’t like dating apps, and I’ve seen some data that says their antipathy toward dating services has only increased over time.
Women have to do the work to show they’re interested, which sounds like a great role for guys. But I think the leading edge of innovation is moving away from it. Before, they thought, “not for me.” Now they’re like, “I would never touch that.” I hope we can make the technology more accessible by making the technology a bit more humane. It’s tempting to dump your grievances during a breakup.
I sat down with Mc Leod and talked about his relationship, how to be authentic in a dating profile and the future of Hinge. Kate and I happened to meet in the so-called real world.
Here’s our conversation, edited for length and clarity. But there’s no doubt Hinge works for a lot of people. But it wasn’t just that I saw a different side of my boyfriend offline than I would have through a dating app. But there’s probably a large pool of people that you can be very happy with, if you are forced to cut out the rest of your choices. I think you probably believe what I believe, which is that it’s a fool’s game.
Is there something in the back of your head that says: I could have optimized more? But the other thing is, increasing people’s pool size to a point is very helpful. You could probably be happy with a lot of people, but how do you focus on having a real and authentic connection with one person? We found that most people don’t think some super-special algorithms that knows their Meyers-Briggs type and what type of ketchup they buy would be able to find their right person. So much of attraction is X factor — the particular way a person looks or the way they answered a question you thought was cute.